The Princess & The Pea

As a child I learned about the princess who couldn't sleep 

because there was a pea under her mattress. 

But how when the pea was gone she missed it. 

In the real life version of this story, 

I am the Princess and Josh is my pea. 

He is THE most annoying bed partner. 

But through this deployment I have realized I miss my pea. 

I have attempted to use 

the smallish versions of him in his place 

but it is just not the same.... 

and I do sleep better when they are not there. 

So in 44 days (ish), I get my pea home and I will sleep again.

Some times in life you just wanna...

Scream! 

Punch Something! 

Cry to the point of hyperventilation! 

Punch Something Again!

No? Okay fine.... maybe that's just me. 

Well tonight was one of those nights. 

I have been preparing and studying like a crazy person every night until 1 am or later to get ready for the 2 mid-term exams I had to take this weekend. So yesterday I go to the testing center all prepared to show that art test "who its daddy was". Upon arrival, the testing center attendant took inventory of my #2 pencil, my student ID and my keys. She then asked me the question that ruined my whole mojo...

"Do you have your index card cheat sheet with you"

Ummmmmm...... no, no I don't. And of course because I ALWAYS wait until the 11th hour to do anything, there was not enough time to go home to get it or make a new one. So instead of my proving my superiority... I was quite efficiently put in my place. I got an 80 on the test which is not that bad, but had I had my "who's who & who painted what using what medium" card with me, I would have rocked it. 

New day, new opportunity. I had a great day today. So productive and so fulfilling. My granny came over to watch my boys so I could do some last minute studying before taking on the accounting beast, I mean test. I went to the college. Found myself the perfect little study nook. I ran through the vocabulary terms a few more times until I knew them verbatim. I redid the chapter quiz twice just to make sure I was ready. I can honestly say I have never felt so confident going into a test. 

I arrived at the testing center with plenty of time to spare. I had my index card of formulas, my TI-84 Plus calculator, my #2 pencil, my nice crisp scantron & my student ID. NOTHING was going to ruin this for me. As I sat down at the assigned desk, I said a quiet little prayer that God would help my mind to be open and the information that was stored, to be readily accessible to me. And between my studying and his favor, I was rocking that exam! I breezed through Ch. 5 like none other and was about half way through the Ch. 6 portion when I glanced down and saw something unexpected. There was another section... and it read...

Chapter 8.

WHAT????? I haven't even finished the Ch. 8 homework. I knew there had to be a mistake so I promptly raised my hand and notified the worker that there was a problem with my test. I explained that there was no way this was the right test because we haven't even gone over chapter 8 yet. As if it couldn't get any better, if I would have flipped to the next page I would have noticed the Ch. 9 section that concluded the test. Long story short, I guess my teacher decided to forgo the syllabus that I had been following and combine the two smaller tests into one big one. I happen to have a few kiddos and a deployed daddy and a few screws loose, so I missed this memo I guess. 

To top things off, the test isn't even due until the 10th. 

So what did I do? I finished the Ch. 6 portion, turned in my scantron and quickly emailed my teacher to explain why I only took half of a test. Who knows what is going to happen from here. I totally get that I am the only one to blame. I am not trying to put the responsibility on anyone else. BUT.... owning up to this screw up does not make me feel better.... if you wanna know how it makes me feel, refer back to the first four statements. 

weekly wrap-up

Here is a snippit of our week:

Me: accounting test, art test, art mid term project, dance company rehearsal, chair-bench up-cycle, pallet to curtain rod project, armoir makeover, garage overhaul and about 50 loads of laundry.

C: No school, SEP's, lots of Star Wars, beginning creative writing, dance class, hair cut, lunch with nana & playtime at Little Valley, won his first Mario Kart race and playroom cleanup (with mommy)

T: letters & number workbook time, counting to 20, Dr. Seuss day, lunch with nana & playtime at Little Valley, learned to do a front flip on the couch, and helped Zannah cook dinner

A: WEANED OFF THE BOTTLE!!!!! (yayyayayay), slept through the night 2 nights in a row, played with some cute little girls at Little Valley after having lunch with Nana, learned to sign 2 signs in a row (ie: "more milk"), talked to daddy & said "hi"

It was a good week for us! 

Only 48 more days until we are a complete family again. 

We are ALL so excited.

An End & A Beginning

Today was such a productive day for me. 

I love having these days. 

They are my fave.

I finally made the returns to Target that I have been meaning to get to for about 2 months. Luckily for me Target has a 90 day return policy. I also payed my questar gas bill... for whatever reason this is the one bill that always slips my mind. I seriously need to get it on auto pay or something. I am totally that lady who gets the pink slip on the door for disconnect purely because the check that I wrote 2 months ago is still sitting nicely in my wallet. I went to Urban Renewal and dropped off some gently used items that I finally gave the eviction notice to.... it was hard to see them go but they had definitely overstayed their welcome.

I put away the boys' clothes that have been taunting me in a huge pile on the floor. It's like they were saying to me...

"oooo I'm gonna get cha"

every time I walked by. So I gave in and finally put them in their proper place.

I attended a modern class and I taught my pointe class today, so me and my old, worn out & out of shape body is tired.

But the thing I did today that was the "big thing" was a really big thing for me. 

Today was the day I said goodbye to one chapter of my life and hello to another. 

Today I packed up my car with 4 big Rubbermaid containers full to the brim of all of my babies clothing, bottles, blankets, receivers and shoes. One tupper contained the last set of baby bedding I will buy (at least for a while, God willing). And lastly I piled in the infant car seat and base that had been the mode of transportation for my tiny & very premature baby.

I remember putting his teensy little 4 pound body 

into the seat 

when he was a month and a half old 

and thinking that the straps would swallow him whole... 

and they did. 

We went all the way to Las Vegas just to get this car seat that would go down to 4 pounds. See the NICU has regulations that preemies must pass a car seat test and that the weight requirements are met. ie: if you have a 4lb 6oz baby and a 5lb & up car seat... no going home for baby. So... we had the special preemie car seat ready to go. (ps... Ash hit 5lbs the day before he went home so the very expensive, i mean preemie-safe, car seat was not needed after-all.)

Long story short, my sister in law Lyndsie will become the proud new owner of our gender neutral baby bedding and my soon to be step sister will be the proud new owner of the rest of it. (Sorry Lynz... I had already promised that stuff out. I will work on getting new stuff for the little padewon inside your belly.)

I cried a little bit as I left the UPS store with nothing but a bunch of empty Rubbermaid totes that had contained such important elements of the last 6 years of my life. Every onesie, every pair of shoes, every blanket, every everything triggers such a sacred memory of my babies lives.

I know they are only things and that the memories stay with me but it that knowledge did not help the twinge in my stomach as I unloaded the empty totes into my garage that had stored all of these memory keepers for so long.

I am so thankful for the stages that my boys are in now.... 

but I will always cherish those precious first years with my little ones.